last friday night!
by kaley the vampire lover
Summary: i was listening to last friday night reading some stories and this poped up into my brain read if you want to dont if you dont. R&R if you read! its jasper and my oc kaley and its a major ooc! lol have fun reading this!
1. Chapter 1

A/N I know I know stupid me starting another story when I have others I should be focusing on eh oh well! This is what my brain came up with so I am going to do this its only a one shot!

Warnings: actually this will only have minor swearing in it and some nakedness!

I DON'T OWN 'LAST FRIDAY NIGHT' THAT BELONGS TO KATY PERRY! AND I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!

There happy? On to the story!

_Italics are memories. _

**Current time**

_**Comments by author.**_

"what the hell happened last night?" asked a very shocked jasper Whitlock/Cullen/Hale.

He woke up….yes! He actually fell asleep for the first time in how many years? He couldn't/ wouldn't calculate that right now, in a weird bed that definitely wasn't his own. In a room that wasn't his and his wife's, and he couldn't remember what had happened last night to top it all off he could smell something not overtly sweet but not smoky either it was somewhere in the middle. Like the taste chocolate gets when it gets cooked on an open fire. He was ok though physically and mentally however he couldn't 'feel' anything. The door started to open.

"if you would like to know what happened last night then my guess is as good as yours kind sir. Now if you'd like some breakfast and yes you can eat it then come on down before it gets hot just got back from my own hunt. However I would like to change so if you could vacate my bed I'd be ever so grateful." said a beautiful girl no women trying not to be rude but obviously needing to change.

So he got out of the room and only stayed long enough to hear her say "down the hall, take a left then a right and the kitchen is the first door on your left." then she vanished into what he assumed was an in suite bathroom. As he left the room he fallowed her directions closely and easily found the kitchen.

While he waited for her to come down and eat even though she had said she had already hunted he didn't feel right just helping himself in a house were he didn't actually even know the owner. So he waited even though he was hungry and he tried to remember what had happened

jasper remembered what lead up to the blankness…_it was a normal day, well as normal as a day can be to a house of vampires. Well it was until IT happened. It was when he was just getting back in from a minor hunt just enough to get him through the week to when he and the rest of the coven would go hunting to last for two weeks. But what he found in his rooms well his and his wife's rooms was, well it wasn't good he found his wife Alice and Edward with Edwards wife Bella {__**bitch I hate her**__} and then he just walked out and hadn't been back in weeks at least three at most six he couldn't really remember all he did really remember was that he threw away his cell and got a new one. _after the memory the breathtaking he had to admit women came in and sat down across from him with hair still wet.

"so what's a vampy like you doing without his coven? I can tell the difference between a coven vampy and nomad vampy." asked the women.

"my…I don't even know what to call her anymore. Slept with my brother and his wife. I got pissed and ran off. So yes I had a two year old who got his toy taken from him tantrum." replied jasper. In response to that the women got a look that said pissed not sympathy so jasper was glad.

"I know exactly how that is. How is it though that you found your way to Texas? And why did you come to a party half cocked off your ass anyway? And how did you get half cocked anyway! I have been trying to do that for years! Sorry I just am a questiony person, if it bothers you then sorry." she replied as jasper tried to finish his drink with out gulping. He managed but only barely.

"I don't want to seam rude to such a pretty lady but I don't remember you name I am truly sorry. And the questions? There fine. I guess it was subconscious I am from Texas, well before I was turned anyway. As for the being half cocked? I have no ideas I think I've been gone for anywhere between three and six weeks, so I probably spent that time drinking. Oh crap I hope I didn't crash any parties? If I did I am really sorry!" jasper replied.

"oh you didn't crash any parties it was open invite you heard it you could come if you want. And thanks for the complement its kaley. And let me guess civil war? And you need a new cell phone." the newly named kaley answered.

"yes I am a civil war era vampire. Why do I need a new cell phone? And I love your name it's a beautiful name for a beautiful women." replied jasper

"hehe keep it up and I wont let you leave. Oh you need a new cell phone because you threw yours into the pool after receiving a phone call last night, I remember that much at least. And cool! I my self am from an era of king…kinda…how can I explain this the late 1600's to early 1700's?" kaley mused, then she jumped up and went to the cabinet above the sink.

"I don't know about you but my head is killing me and I need a headache remover. Plus you smell like a mini bar the show is either in my room or the one in the hall first door past my room yah weird and they are the same rooms it just matters which way you feel more comfortable entering from. Oh and there are pics online from the party so um yeah hehe" kaley finished kinda lamely.

So jasper went and took a shower only one problem that he could see sometime in the middle of his shower kaley came in and took his cloths so he did the only logical thing…went streaking threw the house to find her.

"not that I don't like the view of firmly toned ass and a nice dic but hehe why are you streaking threw my house?" asked kaley standing behind {_**lol**_} him.

"I would love to put cloths on, but it seems you stole them during my shower." replied jasper.

"of course I did they reeked to! Come on you can wear something of my ex's I'll shrink it if I have to, though you look about his height not his build, which is a good thing, come on this way." kaley said.

So off they went to her ex's rooms. Were kaley pulled out a bunch of different outfits and left them on the bed then walked out of the room with a remark of " oh and by the way….when your done your helping with the flamingos!".

"ok I'm done now whats this about flamingos?" asked jasper.

"simple you see those damn flamingos in the other end of the pool? Well you can get those while I grab these then we can burn them there my ex's and there wood so hehe!" replied kaley who was floating but naked in the pool.

"why are you naked not that I mind the view you are very well toned!" asked/ said jasper.

"thank you! And I felt like skinny dipping, come and join me!" replied kaley

"don't tempt me please! I want to make sure I am completely over her before I do anything." replied jasper.

"oh I understand what I meant was that unless you want your cloths to get wet your gonna have to strip to help out!" said kaley.

"oh! I should've thought of that!" replied jasper.

So that's what they did all day swam but naked and cleaned the pool of flamingos. When they got inside they went to the living room only to find that it was covered and by covered they mean EVERY surface was covered in glitter and not a normal glitter either no it was bright colors! Annoyingly bright colors! So kaley said something along the lines of "sweet merlins god damned hanging ball sack, fuck all this shit! And waved her hands and cleaned the room, then she collapsed on the couch turned on the TV and patted the space beside her indicating that jasper should sit next to her. So jasper sat down.

"so what now?" asked jasper.

"well you can stay or continue living on your own. But honestly I could use the company."

"then I think I'll stay. But if I may, how did you come to be in Texas?" replied/asked jasper.

"that's easy I am avoiding my arse of an ex and my sire, annoying sod." replied kaley.

"who is your sire if I can be so bold?" asked jasper.

" go ahead um that's not so easy you actually know my sire. Its Carlisle." replied kaley.

"oh damn!" was all that jasper could think to reply with.

"yah haha" replied kaley.

"...**per? ..asper? Jasper? Come on back now!" yelled kaley. **

" **what? What happened?" asked a slightly confused jasper. **

" **you spaced again. What were you thinking about?" asked kaley as she snuggled closer to her husband of the last twenty one almost twenty two years. **

" **just thinking about twenty two years ago when we just met, well just met that we remember!" replied jasper.**

"**its not twenty two years yet is it?" then kaley looked at the clock. "shit it is happy anniversary, love! And why were you thinking about that?" asked kaley**

"**I was thinking that open invite parties, three to six weeks drunk binging, flamingos, and hurtful ex's all need to be thanked for our current happiness. Happy anniversary to you to love!" replied jasper. **

"**not to mention mini bar smells, streaking, skinny dipping, and glitter!" said kaley. **

"**I love you jazzy." said kaley.**

" **I love you to kale." said jasper**

**The end!**

**A/N I might write a second depending on the reviews! **

**P.S. I wrote this between midnight and one thirty so if its crappy to bad especially if you made it this far! And frankly I need flames my oven wont work and I need to make cookies!**


	2. ALERT

So on June 23rd, there will be an official Black Out. Authors will not log in,read, or review stories. Those who do not have accounts are also affected by FF's decisions too. Please participate and spread the news! If enough authors take part in this event, FF will know we mean business. Also, if anybody has any information on when this purging on M-rated fics will be please contact me. I would like to know in advance.!SPREAD THE WORD!copy and pate this into your story updates, communities and forums thanks!

This is becoming ridiculous! I mean if they wanna change more then already are well there gonna lose more authors and readers then they already have! Am I right? But Seriously this is becoming annoying I hope that with this black out

They will understand that We are serious and not

To be taken lightly Thank you to

Those who Participate!


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